Reentry

I got my teeth cleaned today.

My semi-annual cleaning was originally scheduled in March 2020 – just as the pandemic lockdowns were beginning.

Even once the dentist’s office was allowed to reopen, going felt risky, so I rescheduled for June – thinking we would be past the danger by that time.

We were not.

So, I rescheduled for August…then again for November…then again for January…then again for today.

Fully vaccinated, I kept the appointment.

I was a bit nervous.

I’m still not comfortable going into enclosed spaces where lots of people come and go.

Per protocol, I let them know by phone I had arrived, waiting in my car until they came to get me.

I wore a mask, except for the actual period of teeth-cleaning.

I paid by credit card and left the building.

Surprisingly, after such a long delay and despite working from home all year – within a few feet of our kitchen with its all-day snack accessibility – I did not have any new cavities.

A relief…because if there had been new cavities, that would have meant additional trips to the dentist.

As it stands, I won’t need to return until early November.

I still do not feel comfortable venturing out much.

I have been fully vaccinated, but a majority of people out in public have not.

Some state openly they don’t ever plan to be.

And some of those same people are aggressively antagonistic toward the idea of mask-wearing…which is the bare-minimum of decent care for others around you.

We are still learning whether those of us who are vaccinated might still end up becoming infected by those who spurn vaccines and mask-wearing, thereby unknowingly carrying the virus to others and unintentionally causing harm.

It does not feel safe “out there” yet.

This search for “safe” is not just about our own safety – but also the safety of those around us.

It will be this way for the foreseeable future.

So, I will continue to weigh the risks, take precautions, and decide on a case-by-case basis when I will reengage and when I will reenter public places.

I will continue to do this so when I reenter spaces with my loved ones, I will feel as confident as possible that I will not be bringing danger into their lives.

Work-Life Balance

When you think of “work-life” balance, it’s generally a question of spreading yourself, your time and your energy between your job and your personal life in a healthy and “balanced” way.

For most of us, it’s a question of, “If I go on that business trip to the state capitol, will I miss seeing my kid march with the band at half-time?”

For most of us, it is not a question of, “If I go to work, will I die or end up causing the death of a loved one?”

Of course lots of jobs can be dangerous.

People die on the job for all sorts of reasons.

But that’s why there are workplace safety regulations and safeguards.

There is training and preparation.

Accidents can happen, but the work in and of itself should not lead to your death.

What if “going to work” means exposing yourself to a known random and invisible danger?

What if “going to work” meant that you had to show up for a job in which you interact with all sorts of people who may or may not be carrying a deadly virus – a deadly virus that could kill you or that you could take home to your family?

That’s where we are.

Pressure is on – even in the form of armed domestic terrorists threatening our government – to “liberate” our economy and push people back out into the workforce, even though there are no real safeguards, no real protections, no regulations to keep people safe.

There are not enough tests to test everyone for the virus.

We are not yet adequately tracking the contacts of people who are tested and test positive.

People who show no symptoms are circulating throughout our communities, spreading the virus to strangers, co-workers and loved ones as they go.

Spreading death.

That’s where we are.

There is no vaccine.

There is not adequate protective gear for the frontline caregivers, let alone everyone.

What we do have plenty of is pressure.

We are neck-deep in pressure.

Pressure to “get back to normal” and “reopen” our economy.

Pressure for people to go back to work in unsafe conditions.

That’s where we are.

America’s “work-life” balance is this:

Work.

Even if it costs your or a loved one’s life.

The economy’s books must balance.

Sheltered II

A month ago I wrote that by seeking shelter we sometimes leave ourselves in the dark.

Little did I know then that we would all soon – more or less – be sheltering in place.

But here we are.

Sheltered.

In place.

Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, we are sheltering-in-place, seeking to find safety for ourselves and others by refusing to become carriers for a deadly virus.

And at times it certainly does feel like we are in the dark.

It feels like we are in a dark place as a society.

And it feels like we are “in the dark” of knowing what to do.

We are caught in a steady stream of frightening, frequently-changing and often conflicting information about what is going on, what we should be doing, what we should not be doing and what our society’s plan is to face this situation.

From within our shelters we seek out information, becoming ever more confused.

Ever more “in the dark.”

There are social media posts, official briefings, websites, memes, interviews and news stories.

We are not in the dark due to a lack of information; rather from being overwhelmed by a mix of helpful, true, half-true, not-true, sensational and harmful information flowing at us from every side.

For my part, I now refuse to listen to the “official daily briefings” from the White House and from my own state government (West Virginia). They have long ceased to be a source of information I find to be credible or helpful.

I find myself in a place that has become familiar over the last several years. (For me that would be from about 2015 to the present.)

This familiar place is a place of trying to find the delicate balance between being informed and staying sane.

For the most part I try to open myself to knowing more (being informed).

I listen and read and absorb lots of information.

But there are times when I need to tune it all out (staying sane).

This week I noticed an old editorial cartoon I had cut out of a newspaper and posted on the bulletin board in our office at home. It was drawn by cartoonist Mike Ritter in 2000.

Twenty years ago.

I’m not even sure now what the original context was for the cartoon.

(Maybe the “Survivor” TV show?)

But it still resonates with me.

It still resonates with me – some days more than others.

Some days – more than others – I need to tip the balance toward “staying sane” and so I take shelter.

Shelter from the mix of helpful, true, half-true, not-true, sensational and harmful information flowing at me from every side.

Even if that leaves me in the dark.

In the dark.

In my shelter.

In place.