I once belonged to a church whose vision statement declared it existed to “share the joy of knowing Jesus” and it was a “haven for healing and a training center for ministry.”
I felt and was quick to share the joy of knowing Jesus and I actively participated in the training for ministry, but the “haven for healing” part did not resonate with me as something I personally needed. For me, it represented my hope that others who needed healing would feel welcome among us.
That was then.
Now I am the one in need of a haven for healing.
I believe in God.
I trust God.
But I have lost faith and trust in the church.
My heart is wounded and in need of healing, but the place I would normally look to as a haven for healing is, in this case, the source of the injury.
I know in my heart I need and want to stay connected with a community of believers, a community of Christians who experience the joy of knowing Jesus and the drive to share that joy with others; who thirst for continued study, growth, and training for ministry.
But what do I do when connection with a community of believers, a community of Christians, is the source of the hurt and pain?
Back then, I was one offering joy and healing; now, I am one seeking it.
I seek a haven for healing.
I know there are people in communities of faith ready to offer that haven – even people within my current one – but I am still feeling off balance and – frankly – more than a little burned. I am not yet ready to trust again.
I am struggling with trusting anyone – even well-meaning people – with my broken heart.
I seek a haven for healing.
I hope and pray I find a way to place trust in a church community again, but for now my focus is on God – in whom I do still have faith and trust.
The journey continues.
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time on and forevermore.
Psalm 23: 1-3
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul.
He leads me in right paths
for his name’s sake.
Psalm 51: 10-12
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
Psalm 147: 3
He heals the brokenhearted,
and binds up their wounds.